THE EMPOWERED WOMAN IS A PARTNER AND NOT
A THREAT TO MEN!!!- THE THOUGHT OF AN AFRICAN YOUTH.
There are a
hundred reasons on the need to empower women across the world. A thousand
reasons can be given as to why it is very critical to empower women in
Africa. A million reasons exist as to why women-related issues must
be given prominence specifically in Ghana. These reasons cut across cultural
issues, biological differences between men and women and religious
beliefs. It is for these reasons that empowering women has come to stay
until the world becomes a better place for us all without any discrimination.
Our cultural
settings and upbringing give justifiable reasons as to why women need to be
empowered. In a typical African home, women have often been the subject of abuse
and attack for childless marriages. The infidelity of some men have often been
blamed on the part of women as having failed to perform their marital
responsibilities religiously. What a "fair" world we live in!!!
Sadly, marriage
has been the yardstick to measure the success or otherwise of the African woman.
Get a doctorate
degree or be adjudged as the best in your field of endeavor as a woman and the
next question that follows is, “when are you getting married?” It is
sad that, when couples are blessed with female children, there is unnecessary
pressure on them to get a male child as if male children hold the key to the
prosperity in the family. The most worrying aspect is that, some elite or
educated people still ascribe to this mindset. With this cultural setting, why
should we not empower women to be vociferous and overcome this form of abuse?
Religion has also
been used as a tool to hinder the potential of the African lady. In some
religious circles, women by their religious doctrines cannot make final
decisions when a man is present. I just wonder if the male has a super brain
compared to the woman. I have had the opportunity to engage with several ladies
and I dare say, the male brain is not superior to the female brain. Common
sense is indeed common for everyone irrespective of gender. Like I
always say, the continent continues to be faced with several unresolved
problems because the beautiful brain of the African lady has been confined and
conditioned for the kitchen and bedroom for far too long. It is time for all
these beautiful brains to be given a fair representation and opportunity to
excel.
Society has
prescribed code of ethics for our women. Funny enough, this code of ethics
include what ladies should wear, what they can eat and even how they should
walk and talk. Strangely this code has also assigned roles based on gender. Men
are to be decision makers and have the final say whiles the woman is assigned
to cook, clean, wash and sweep.
During my
Senior High days as the compound Overseer, I was responsible for assigning
roles to students in keeping the compound tidy. One day after “evening
prep”, a “junior” in school approached me and told
me “senior, I can’t scrub so please don’t assign me to the
bathhouse or toilet.” i got curious and asked him what he really meant since
scrubbing didn't require any special skill. I just looked at him and asked
rhetorically, “Do you bath and attend to nature’s call? If you do, then please
be ready for whatever role I assign you. However if you don’t, then we can have
a chat on it. No person comes from the womb with a placard written on the basic
chores assigned to the fellow.
Why should society
assign women to scrubbing when men bath too? Why should women be assigned to
cooking when men eat too? Can’t we have a society where we both
engage in this basic household chores to keep the house clean? I have
encountered very educated and respected persons in the society who help in
cooking, take their kids to school and take care of their kids so their wives
can focus on other critical issues. The “authority” of men is assumed to be
undermined when men take part in household chores. Strangely, this “authority”
is never undermined when the wife supports the home financially.
The intensity and
seriousness of this needles gender roles in the world has caused so much pain
to people. Heart-breaking stories (see https://nypost.com/2014/05/21/man-charged-with-killing-wife-after-she-made-him-the-wrong-dinner/) shows
the need for us to speak out boldly and save our daughters, wives, sisters and
mothers from such cruel relationships. How can a man beat his wife for failing
to prepare dinner in this era? A study conducted suggests that,
cultural reasons remain the dominant reason for forced marriages in
Africa( see https://www.minderoo.com.au/walk-free/news/forced-and-child-marriage-in-africa-as-a-manifestation-of-gender-based-violence-and-inequality/).
How can ladies be forced into marriage in this era due to some cultural
reasons? Women empowerment must and should be a concern for all well - meaning sons
and daughters of the continent and the world. The only way to brighten the
future of women is "women empowerment".
Isn’t it sad, some
justify rape and defilement based on the dressing of women? In as much as we
encourage ourselves to dress decently, this cannot be a basis for abusing
women. We can’t be blaming unscrupulous behavior on what we see. Has robbery ever been justified by not properly safeguarding
properties in the world before?
With all these
worrying phenomena which has permeated our lives for several decades and years,
women are tired of this abuse and have to speak up boldly and confidently to
right some of these wrongs in the society. This has led to the springing up of
many women advocacy groups aimed at curing this ill in the society. The common
ones are “pepperdem” or "sugardem” ministries. I am sure we
will soon have the “honeydem” and “gingerdem” groups
springing up.
In my relatively
younger life, one of the most powerful quotes I have ever come across towards
women empowerment is that of Dr. Aggrey.
“If you
educate a man, you educate an individual but if you educate a woman, you
educate an entire nation”.
This quote given
by a man indicates clearly that, the quest for women empowerment should not be
seen as a fight with men. Women empowerment should be seen as an opportunity for
men and women to have fair playing grounds to partner in every sphere of life.
Women empowerment should be approached as addressing the “superior-
inferior” relationship society has ascribed among men and women. It should
be seen as an opportunity for balanced growth and development.
In
conclusion, "anyone who feels threatened by an empowered woman
surely needs psychological deliverance". To my brothers out there who
are not comfortable with empowered women around them, Chimamanda Ngozi has this
for you
“I am not
worried about intimidating men. The type of men who will feel intimidated by me
are exactly the type I am not interested in”.
The empowered
woman is indeed a partner and not a threat to men. Let us see the quest for
women empowerment as an opportunity to progress and not attack each other. I
believe in Africa.
Kwame Ohene
-Ntow
YALI DREAM
A BETTER GHANA
A BRIGHTER
AFRICA.
The writer is a
graduate student of Development Policy and Planning at KNUST and
an Alumnus of Young African Leadership Initiative (YALI).
Facebook : Kwame Ohene- Ntow
Email:
vincentntow12@gmail.com