THE EMPOWERED WOMAN IS A PARTNER AND NOT A THREAT TO MEN!!!- THE THOUGHT OF AN AFRICAN YOUTH.

THE EMPOWERED WOMAN IS A PARTNER AND NOT A THREAT TO MEN!!!- THE THOUGHT OF AN AFRICAN YOUTH.

There are a hundred reasons on the need to empower women across the world. A thousand reasons can be given as to why it is very critical to empower women in Africa.  A million reasons exist as to why women-related issues must be given prominence specifically in Ghana. These reasons cut across cultural issues, biological differences between men and women and religious beliefs.  It is for these reasons that empowering women has come to stay until the world becomes a better place for us all without any discrimination.

Our cultural settings and upbringing give justifiable reasons as to why women need to be empowered. In a typical African home, women have often been the subject of abuse and attack for childless marriages. The infidelity of some men have often been blamed on the part of women as having failed to perform their marital responsibilities religiously. What a "fair" world we live in!!!

Sadly, marriage has been the yardstick to measure the success or otherwise of the African woman.

Get a doctorate degree or be adjudged as the best in your field of endeavor as a woman and the next question that follows is, “when are you getting married?”  It is sad that, when couples are blessed with female children, there is unnecessary pressure on them to get a male child as if male children hold the key to the prosperity in the family. The most worrying aspect is that, some elite or educated people still ascribe to this mindset. With this cultural setting, why should we not empower women to be vociferous and overcome this form of abuse?

Religion has also been used as a tool to hinder the potential of the African lady. In some religious circles, women by their religious doctrines cannot make final decisions when a man is present. I just wonder if the male has a super brain compared to the woman. I have had the opportunity to engage with several ladies and I dare say, the male brain is not superior to the female brain. Common sense is indeed common for everyone irrespective of gender.  Like I always say, the continent continues to be faced with several unresolved problems because the beautiful brain of the African lady has been confined and conditioned for the kitchen and bedroom for far too long. It is time for all these beautiful brains to be given a fair representation and opportunity to excel.

Society has prescribed code of ethics for our women. Funny enough, this code of ethics include what ladies should wear, what they can eat and even how they should walk and talk. Strangely this code has also assigned roles based on gender. Men are to be decision makers and have the final say whiles the woman is assigned to cook, clean, wash and sweep.

 During my Senior High days as the compound Overseer, I was responsible for assigning roles to students in keeping the compound tidy. One day after “evening prep”,  a “junior” in school approached me and told me  “senior, I can’t scrub  so please don’t assign me to the bathhouse or toilet.” i got curious and asked him what he really meant since scrubbing didn't require any special skill. I just looked at him and asked rhetorically, “Do you bath and attend to nature’s call? If you do, then please be ready for whatever role I assign you. However if you don’t, then we can have a chat on it. No person comes from the womb with a placard written on the basic chores assigned to the fellow. 

Why should society assign women to scrubbing when men bath too? Why should women be assigned to cooking when men eat too?  Can’t we have a society where we both engage in this basic household chores to keep the house clean? I have encountered very educated and respected persons in the society who help in cooking, take their kids to school and take care of their kids so their wives can focus on other critical issues. The “authority” of men is assumed to be undermined when men take part in household chores. Strangely, this “authority” is never undermined when the wife supports the home financially. 

The intensity and seriousness of this needles gender roles in the world has caused so much pain to people.  Heart-breaking stories (see https://nypost.com/2014/05/21/man-charged-with-killing-wife-after-she-made-him-the-wrong-dinner/) shows the need for us to speak out boldly and save our daughters, wives, sisters and mothers from such cruel relationships. How can a man beat his wife for failing to prepare dinner in this era?  A study conducted suggests that, cultural reasons remain the dominant reason for forced marriages in Africa( see https://www.minderoo.com.au/walk-free/news/forced-and-child-marriage-in-africa-as-a-manifestation-of-gender-based-violence-and-inequality/).  How can ladies be forced into marriage in this era due to some cultural reasons? Women empowerment must and should be a concern for all well - meaning sons and daughters of the continent and the world. The only way to brighten the future of women is "women empowerment".

Isn’t it sad, some justify rape and defilement based on the dressing of women? In as much as we encourage ourselves to dress decently, this cannot be a basis for abusing women. We can’t be blaming unscrupulous behavior on what we see. Has robbery ever been justified by not properly safeguarding properties in the world before?

With all these worrying phenomena which has permeated our lives for several decades and years, women are tired of this abuse and have to speak up boldly and confidently to right some of these wrongs in the society. This has led to the springing up of many women advocacy groups aimed at curing this ill in the society. The common ones are “pepperdem” or "sugardem” ministries. I am sure we will soon have the “honeydem” and “gingerdem” groups springing up.

In my relatively younger life, one of the most powerful quotes I have ever come across towards women empowerment is that of Dr. Aggrey.

“If you educate a man, you educate an individual but if you educate a woman, you educate an entire nation”.

This quote given by a man indicates clearly that, the quest for women empowerment should not be seen as a fight with men. Women empowerment should be seen as an opportunity for men and women to have fair playing grounds to partner in every sphere of life. Women empowerment should be approached as addressing the “superior- inferior” relationship society has ascribed among men and women. It should be seen as an opportunity for balanced growth and development.

In conclusion, "anyone who feels threatened by an empowered woman surely needs psychological deliverance". To my brothers out there who are not comfortable with empowered women around them, Chimamanda Ngozi has this for you

“I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of men who will feel intimidated by me are exactly the type I am not interested in”.

The empowered woman is indeed a partner and not a threat to men. Let us see the quest for women empowerment as an opportunity to progress and not attack each other. I believe in Africa.

Kwame Ohene -Ntow

YALI DREAM

A BETTER GHANA

A BRIGHTER AFRICA.

The writer is a graduate student of Development Policy and Planning at KNUST and an Alumnus of Young African Leadership Initiative (YALI).

Facebook : Kwame Ohene- Ntow

Email: vincentntow12@gmail.com