JOURNEYING WITH THE AFRICAN MALE CHILD; THE UNSPOKEN REALITY

In the past two decades, issues of affirmative action, gender equality, feminism, patriarchy, social inclusion and cohesion has informed many policy direction and continues to gain much more attention in our quest to ensure holistic development. In Africa, development practitioners have largely focused on addressing the inadequacies/gaps in society that have negative effects on the wellbeing of the African Child particularly the girl child.

A lot of donor agencies, organized groups and individuals have rolled out projects and interventions in this regard. These interventions are largely aimed at addressing gender-related issues. Some of these intervention are in the area of early and forced marriages, female genital mutilation, girl child education, menstrual hygiene, cruel widowhood rites among others. International conventions and days of commemoration such as international Day of Women in Science and Technology, World Menstrual Hygiene Day, International Day On Social Justice are largely providing platforms and opportunities to address problems facing the African Girl Child.

Admitting clearly that, cultural issues, biological differences, religious inclinations and societal constructs have affected and hindered the potential of the African Girl Child in the past and continues to be of great concern in the 21^st century, it is worth noting that, the 21^ST century African male child has his own struggles which should not be swept under the carpet. If indeed we seek to ensure holistic development, then particular attention must and should be paid to these “known, yet hidden and unspoken realities” facing the 21^st century African Male.

Let us embark on a short exploratory journey in the life of a typical African man who grows up in a typical African setting so we can appreciate these realities considering culture, academic, home-training, societal perception, marital expectations, family commitments, career among a host of others.

Culturally, society has in a way taken away the right of the African man to show emotion and express grief when life gets tough. These are explicitly captured in many of our Akan adages such as “Barima Nsu”, to wit “a man doesn’t cry”, “Barima na   )nom aduro a 3nyono”, to wit “it is the man who takes the bitter pill”. In a continent where surviving as an African child isn’t an easy adventure, the African male child is expected to swallow so many bitter pills. This is really eating some young men up and has a potential to result in depression. I know many young men, who shed tears in their pillow in their journey to secure a livelihood but can’t openly shed these tears and frustrations because society says it is haram for a “man to cry”.

Growing up, I was denied an award because I had the same score with a lady in my class. The lady was given the award simply because she is a girl. Isn’t it worrying why teachers even expected the male breed to be academically smarter than the female at that time? If that isn’t the case, why was I denied the award? I know many young men can relate to this story growing up in primary and Junior High Schools. In my young mind, the lesson I learnt as a boy was that, I must and at all times be smarter than a girl so as to get my award peacefully. The honest truth is that, I have encountered many smarter females than myself in my academic and professional pursuit. In my case, I have had a re-orientation that I cannot be smarter than every lady.  I know so many men walk in the world thinking they must  at all times be smarter and more knowledgeable than ladies due to some of these unspoken realities.

During my days as a national service person, I struck into a conversation with a female teacher concerning these unspoken realities facing the male child. She mentioned to me that, during her days in the teacher training college about twenty years ago, trainees were given equal allowances yet the ladies expected the young men to provide for them financially. I quickly told her that trend hasn’t changed much based on my experiences. When I was in the university, it was “the norm” for the boy or young man to foot all bills at a hangout with a lady and sometimes the friends of the ladies. Birthday parties of ladies were a major responsibility for a university guy in love. Valentine’s Day and occasional surprises was such a big deal and sometimes led to breakup in relationships. These days, I understand “bill sharing” has been introduced (on paper awaiting implementation). This is indeed an interesting development.  The crust of this issue is that, the young African men are faced with needless financial pressure that sometimes pushes them to do the unthinkable.

I happened to have listened to a conversation between some young university students in love. The relationship was on the verge of collapsing hence the need for dialogue. The young lady in her opinion has been an amazing girlfriend simply because she doesn’t put financial pressure on the young guy as her girlfriends do.  The sad reality is that, this is considered extremely normal. Two university students who are both economically dependent on their parents yet one (the man) is expected to bear the financial responsibility in a relationship. The woes of the young boy in love…

In conclusion, I must admit in all honesty and humility that, per our cultural orientation, social construct, biological and religious inclination as Africans, the African girl has been disadvantaged in many ways. However, this must and should not stop us from discussing and addressing issues that affect our boys as well. Together we can make the continent a better place for us all.

Kwame Ohene-Ntow

YALI Dream,

A better Ghana,

A brighter Africa.

The writer holds a Master’s degree in Development Policy and Planning from KNUST, a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration from the University of Ghana Business School, A YALI fellow and  team member of the SOS-CV “No Business as Usual Project” which is promoting local socio-economic development and training youth in employable and entrepreneurial skills in Kumasi.

 Email;vincentntow12@gmail.com

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