A
lot of donor agencies, organized groups and individuals have rolled out
projects and interventions in this regard. These interventions are largely
aimed at addressing gender-related issues. Some of these intervention are in
the area of early and forced marriages, female genital mutilation, girl child
education, menstrual hygiene, cruel widowhood rites among others. International
conventions and days of commemoration such as international Day of Women in
Science and Technology, World Menstrual Hygiene Day, International Day On
Social Justice are largely providing platforms and opportunities to address
problems facing the African Girl Child.
Admitting
clearly that, cultural issues, biological differences, religious inclinations
and societal constructs have affected and hindered the potential of the African Girl Child in the past and continues to be of great concern in the 21st
century, it is worth noting that, the 21ST century African male
child has his own struggles which should not be swept under the carpet. If
indeed we seek to ensure holistic development, then particular attention must
and should be paid to these “known, yet
hidden and unspoken realities” facing the 21st century African
Male.
Let
us embark on a short exploratory journey in the life of a typical African
man who grows up in a typical African setting so we can appreciate these
realities considering culture, academic, home-training, societal perception,
marital expectations, family commitments, career among a host of others.
Culturally,
society has in a way taken away the right of the African man to show emotion
and express grief when life gets tough. These are explicitly captured in many
of our Akan adages such as “Barima Nsu”, to wit “a man doesn’t cry”, “Barima na
)nom
aduro a 3nyono”, to wit “it is the man who takes the bitter pill”. In a continent
where surviving as an African child isn’t an easy adventure, the African male
child is expected to swallow so many bitter pills. This is really eating some
young men up and has a potential to result in depression. I know many young
men, who shed tears in their pillow in their journey to secure a livelihood but
can’t openly shed these tears and frustrations because society says it is haram
for a “man to cry”.
Growing up, I was denied an award because I had the same score with a lady in my class. The lady was given the award simply because she is a girl. Isn’t it worrying why teachers even expected the male breed to be academically smarter than the female at that time? If that isn’t the case, why was I denied the award? I know many young men can relate to this story growing up in primary and Junior High Schools. In my young mind, the lesson I learnt as a boy was that, I must and at all times be smarter than a girl so as to get my award peacefully. The honest truth is that, I have encountered many smarter females than myself in my academic and professional pursuit. In my case, I have had a re-orientation that I cannot be smarter than every lady. I know so many men walk in the world thinking they must at all times be smarter and more knowledgeable than ladies due to some of these unspoken realities.
During
my days as a national service person, I struck into a conversation with a
female teacher concerning these unspoken realities facing the male child. She mentioned
to me that, during her days in the teacher training college about twenty years
ago, trainees were given equal allowances yet the ladies expected the young men
to provide for them financially. I quickly told her that trend hasn’t changed
much based on my experiences. When I was in the university, it was “the norm”
for the boy or young man to foot all bills at a hangout with a lady and
sometimes the friends of the ladies. Birthday parties of ladies were a major
responsibility for a university guy in love. Valentine’s Day and occasional surprises
was such a big deal and sometimes led to breakup in relationships. These days,
I understand “bill sharing” has been introduced (on paper awaiting
implementation). This is indeed an interesting development. The crust of this issue is that, the young African
men are faced with needless financial pressure that sometimes pushes them to do
the unthinkable.
I
happened to have listened to a conversation between some young university
students in love. The relationship was on the verge of collapsing hence the
need for dialogue. The young lady in her opinion has been an amazing girlfriend
simply because she doesn’t put financial pressure on the young guy as her
girlfriends do. The sad reality is that,
this is considered extremely normal. Two university students who are both economically
dependent on their parents yet one (the man) is expected to bear the financial
responsibility in a relationship. The
woes of the young boy in love…
In
conclusion, I must admit in all honesty and humility that, per our cultural
orientation, social construct, biological and religious inclination as
Africans, the African girl has been disadvantaged in many ways. However, this
must and should not stop us from discussing and addressing issues that affect
our boys as well. Together we can make the continent a better place for us all.
Kwame
Ohene-Ntow
YALI
Dream,
A
better Ghana,
A brighter Africa.
The writer holds a Master’s degree in Development Policy and Planning from KNUST, a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration from the University of Ghana Business School, A YALI fellow and team member of the SOS-CV “No Business as Usual Project” which is promoting local socio-economic development and training youth in employable and entrepreneurial skills in Kumasi.
Facebook; Kwame Ohene-Ntow
